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Speaking up for “forgotten”
families
22.04.11
by Katie Barr, Inishowen Independent
WHEN Chrissie McCandless was 19 years old she gave
birth to her first and only daughter, Ruby. But
after a traumatising labour, a doctor told the young
mother, her daughter might have brain damage.
“We didn’t know what was going on. I just thought
Ruby was put in the baby unit because I was so ill,
I never thought for a minute there was something
wrong with her,” said Chrissie.
Scared and not knowing where to turn, the young
Malin woman needed answers, but when she took Ruby
back to the doctor when she was six weeks old, she
was told everything seemed fine, and that her baby
was growing and developing at a normal rate.
Convinced there was something not right with her
daughter, Ruby was booked in to have an MRI scan in
December 2006. The results of the scan confirmed
what Chrissie and her husband, Alan, had feared.
“We knew something was wrong. The doctor told us she
was fine, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t the same as
other children her age, but when she was diagnosed
with cerebral palsy I was just so angry I could have
grabbed someone or something! But at least we knew
then, the not knowing was definitely the worst.”
But like many others, the young couple struggled to
come to terms with their child’s condition. |
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“I didn’t know what
cerebral palsy was. I didn’t know if it was curable
or if Ruby could be “fixed”, but when I found out it
was permanent, it was heartbreaking. You’d pay all
the money in the world to fix this, but you can’t.
You just have to get on with it and do your best to
help her as it’s never going away.”
Like Chrissie, another young Inishowen woman, Cathy
Kelly’s “whole world came crashing down” when her
six-month old daughter, Lucy, was diagnosed with the
same illness. Cathy, who already had two boys aged
five and six, knew something was up when her
daughter wasn’t progressing the same way as her sons
had.
“As a parent you know when something is wrong, but
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Chrissie McCandless, with daughter
Ruby and Cathy Kelly, with daughter Lucy, who are
setting up a new support group for Inishowen
families who have children with cerebral palsy or
other disabilities. |
actually hear the
diagnosis is different. Your world comes crashing
down and there is 10,000 emotions going through your
head, but you just have to get on with things and
learn what you’re dealing with.”
Shocked with the lack of support put in place in
Inishowen, Cathy and Chrissie now aim to use their
experience to help other mothers and fathers in
their situation. Chrissie feels without the support
of her family and friends she’d be “nowhere”.
The mums, along with the help of Spraoi agus Sport
in Carndonagh, are setting up a support group for
parents with disabled children to come along, share
their ideas or even just have a good moan! This will
also give the kids a chance to interact with other
children with extra needs.
“We want to let people know they’re not alone, so
hopefully parents will come along and share their
ideas. As you’re constantly on the go and running to
appointments in Letterkenny, Buncrana or Dublin, you
can start to feel very isolated – I know I
practically live in my car,” said Cathy.
“The health nurse here in Carn is great, but she has
such a large area to cover and you only get to see
her for an hour a week, so you can’t even feel like
you can talk to her properly. Sometimes I feel
Inishowen is the forgotten place, so we want to do
something about that.”
There will be an “ideas” coffee evening on
Wednesday, 11th May, at 7.30pm in the Spraoi agus
Sport unit at unit 7 Supervalu Shopping Centre
Carndonagh. For more information call or text 086
8420203. |
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