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Remembering Omagh 10 years on 14.08.08

ON August 15, 1998, Bernie Doherty from Buncrana lost her son Oran in the Omagh bomb. On the eve of the 10th anniversary of the atrocity, she spoke to the Inishowen Independent about the death of her second eldest son and tomorrow's commemorations.

by Simon McGeady, Inishowen Independent

BERNIE and her husband Mickey along with some of their children will travel to Tyrone this Friday afternoon for Omagh District Council’s service, before returning to Buncrana that evening for an outdoor mass at the Knockalla Drive shrine to Oran and fellow Omagh victim Shaun McLaughlin. On Sunday she will return south for a service organised by the Omagh Support Group.
Of the Mass Bernie says, “we have the vigil rosary every year on the 15th but we wanted to have something special for the 10th anniversary. Fr Eddie McGuinness will say Mass 8:30pm at the memorial.”
The Buncrana woman insists that the ceremonies of the 10th anniversary will not affect the way she grieves for Oran and she thinks that the media attention that has accompanied the families of the bereaved will drop off after this year’s anniversary.
Bernie, unlike some of the other family members of he Omagh
Bernie Doherty from Buncrana lost her son Oran in the Omagh bomb.
dead is accommodating with the press.
“I don’t mind all the attention, it would be worse if no one was interested. I want people to remember Oran and how he died.”
The focus on Omagh has stirred up old emotions with some family members staying away from the official commemoration. Bernie believes it’s important to retain a sense of anger over what happened.
“I think it is important for people to remember how they felt at the time of Omagh. I don’t mind telling my story because I want people to remember what was done to Oran. People haven’t seen some of the photos of bodies we’ve seen. I do feel angry at times, like when Oran would have turned 18, or when he should have been getting his Leaving Cert results last summer. You would feel angry, surely.”
“Sitting and thinking about how he was killed, how soon after the bomb did he die? what did he hear? What did he see? Those thoughts are hard.”
As time has gone on Bernie doesn’t care any more about why the bombers did what they did, so much as the could have found it in their hearts to carry out the attack.
“I don’t sit and think about those people now, hardly ever. When the trial of Sean Hoey was on and then at Christmas, when he got off, I remember thinking I don’t know if he did it, but he knows. I would love for those people who killed Oran to hear the bereaved tell their stories, to see if that would change them, but I doubt it because ones that claimed to have killed Oran are still active.”
She doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to forgive the perpetrators.
“I still couldn’t say I’ll forgive Oran’s killers. Maybe I could someday if those people came and told me they were really sorry for what they’d done – not just because they given up whatever cause they believe in, but because they were truly sorry – then maybe I could forgive.
“I think people should be brought to justice for the attack, but I know [the authorities] say they don’t have the evidence so I can’t really see it happening and that does make me sad.
“Some people say, what would it do, if there were people brought to justice, what would it change? It wouldn’t bring Oran back. But it’s because of them that Oran is not coming back. If anyone does anything to your child, you want them to pay.”
Oran would have turned 18 on the 2nd of May. Last year, on the 9th anniversary of his death was the day his Leaving Cert results would have been out.
“That was very hard to take. Emmet, his own cousin that was with him in Omagh did his Leaving Cert and I knew Oran should have been getting his results the same day.
You keep thinking as the years go on what would Oran look like now, would he have long hair? What kind of clothes would he be into? Some of his friends have long hair and baggy jeans, others wear tracksuits. I wouldn’t see his friends that much but whenever I do there is this longing in me to see him with them. It’s as if everything went on without him. All you can do is wonder.”
Oran’s death has affected how Bernie relates to her other children. Her youngest, Killian, is the same age as Oran was when he was killed.
“It’s weird to see Killian at the age Oran was when he died. To me he wouldn’t have been as streetwise as Oran. Maybe it’s because he is the youngest. Oran was very funny and had people laughing and Killian is much the same, he’s very comical.”
Because of what happened to Oran, it’s hard for Bernie to let her younger children go on school trips and other excursions.
“I have let them go on trips and then worried sick. Now whenever any of my kids go anywhere I think ‘what if they never come back? It’s a horrible feeling, but I do let them go if they really want to.
“Killian would not go on his school trip this year. People would say to me ‘you should make him go’, but I just couldn’t. I wouldn’t talk him into it because if something happened to him after me doing that I couldn’t bear it. I was relieved in a way that he didn’t want to go.”
It’s at times like this that she is grateful for the support of other mothers in the area that have lost children. These bereaved mothers have met regularly over the past nine years.
“We’d meet at one of our houses and place a photo of our child out on table, light candles and place then in front of the photograph. [Shaun McLaughlin’s mother] Patricia came to one of the meetings, but it wasn’t for her and that’s fine. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the loss.
“I’m usually able to cope in front of other people. When I am on my own I could cry and cry. The days leading up to the anniversary I find are harder than the day itself. I would be more down then.”
Bernie still has the jar of brandy balls and the two pieces of honeycomb that he had bought at the folk park, one partially eaten.
These items are precious to her.
“Maybe he bought them for one of us,” she says.
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